Self-Esteem and Personal Growth

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how much you value yourself. People with good self-esteem usually feel worthy, loveable, and capable. They usually conduct their lives in a way that brings success, satisfaction, and pleasure. People with low self-esteem don’t value themselves. They usually conduct their lives in a way which undermines their personal success.

People with low self-esteem often make negative assumptions about how they are perceived by others. We can get duped into negative beliefs because of the people in our lives, past and present. When we get caught in negative self-beliefs it limits us and keeps us from being who we really are. The goal of therapy is to get to the truth: that we are born with a pure self, soul, or Spirit that is pristine and whole. Therapy helps us untangle the negative webs so we can be more aware of who we really are, to help us connect with our own inner truth, strength and wisdom.

Low self-esteem is often a factor in people who are prone to anxiety and depression. A client, working with a therapist, is helped to review their life and to understand how their low self-esteem developed. With an understanding of how self-esteem affects our thinking, how we express our emotions, and how we behave in social relationships, we are able to learn to be more effective in our lives and relationships. The goal is to empower ourselves and live our lives more mindfully and with a greater sense of choice.

Communication Skills as a Tool for Personal Growth

Communication skills are essential in healthy relationships and a successful life. Poor communication skills can undermine our abilities and lead to low self-esteem. Communication is like the air we breathe. It is so pervasive we don’t usually think about it. We are communicating all the time, but may not be aware that poor communication is harming our relationships and our ability to be successful in life.

Good communication skills refers to the ability to express yourself effectively, to get your ideas across well so that it is easier for people to understand you and work with you. Poor communication often results from defensive or aggressive behaviour patterns, or from lack of confidence and assertiveness. Learning to communicate effectively improves self-esteem and personal effectiveness in all areas of our lives.

If you are having problems with communication, a therapist can help you identify your skills, abilities and weaknesses, and, help you quickly and easily acquire the empowering skills of effective communication.

Life Changes and Transitions Can Lead to Personal Growth

Transitions are, by definition, temporary and difficult. While often painful and confusing, turmoil around changes and transitions can be opportunities for personal growth. Life is full of challenges, and often we don’t move forward until change is forced upon us.

Upheaval forces us to re-evaluate who we are and how we got into the situation we are in. Personal growth refers to learning new and better ways to deal with life, for example learning to understand and handle emotions more effectively, or learning to communicate better. We can feel caught in unproductive and repetitive patterns, but don’t know why we have them, or what we can do about them. If you are feeling caught this way, therapy can help by reviewing your history and identifying issues and problems that arise from your childhood as well as your current situation - and how the two interact. Working with a therapist directs you to clarifying who you are and helping you become a more effective version of yourself.

Often life changes and transitions catch us off guard and make life feel topsy-turvy. Sometimes changes are long anticipated and faced with excitement, such as graduating high school and moving out on our own. Changes can also be forced upon us, such as a sudden loss of a job or a relationship. Other times we may think we are prepared for change, like becoming an empty-nester or retiring, but experience surprise when we feel lost and at loose ends. Physical changes like menopause, or adapting to a health condition can create challenges.

It is normal to go through a grief and adjustment process even with positive change, but we can become self-doubting and depressed and not sure what is wrong. Therapy can help you review and sort out the complex feelings and issues that come with changes and transitions and help you gain perspective and a clearer idea of how to move forward.